i'm back from london + norway + father's ultramarathon. haha it has been a great 4 weeks plus.. pretty amazing at times.

i thought about this during a nice afternoon bus ride today:

In this world, we hear of so many divorces, screwed up marriages/families. But i know there are many happy marriages, happy families too. Those where it's him for her and her for him. Those where they love each other enough to point out the small things they're not happy with, and to put aside their pride to apologise and forgive over the big things. Those where they stand by each other no matter what. Those where they still believe in old fashion love, romance and devotion to one another. That's what i want.

I also know there're many people who wake up real early in the morning, rush off to work, work and work until 8pm, come home, eat dinner quickly, shower, sleep. At work they rush around so much there's no more compassion or passion in their work. Money or promotion is their chief motivation. They don't spend much time with their kids. There's no time to visit parents or the in laws. But i also know there are people who have a good 7, 8 hours sleep every night. Breakfast is a relaxed sit at the table, either at home with bread/tea/cereal, or something from the hawker center : meepok/kway chap/chee kueh/teh/teh O. Then they don't work too long, ending maybe 4-5pm. but while they're at work, they work hard and work well. yes there's a smile on the face most of the time. and thank goodness there are jokes all the time. Home for dinner almost everyday and sit with the kids. There are opportunities to take leave from work regularly to go for mission trips/disaster relief/holidays/more holidays/sports events/be doctor for sports events. There's time to smell the roses. There's time for a movie at night. There's time to laugh at things. There's time to realise there are some things in life that just aren't that important. There's time to realise a relationship with God is the supreme aim of life. To realise that it is an unhurried walk, (a walk to remember) HAHA. There's time to take life less seriously. There's time to give each other a hug and kiss, a wine glass and berries. That's what i want man.

It's not that i wanna be a slacker. It's just that i realised there are some things that make me really happy. happy seems superficial but yeah, really happy. and i find that slogging at work doesn't make me happy. I find happyness from working hard and getting things done. like give me a really challenging task and i'll gladly work my ass off to get it done cos i find some sort of satisfaction in getting things done. But not like ALL the time till it compromise the other more impt things in life. i realised that money doesn't make me really happy. i mean i'm glad to buy stuff clothes shoes whatever, but i realised it's time spent with people that make me happy. Time spent with my close friends. A night out to the hawker center to have roti prata together is what makes me really happy. A meal with my parents makes me happy. a meal with my imaginary wife would be nice i think. a meal with my imaginary wife and kids will be awesome i think. Laughing really really hard makes me very happy. meeting nice people makes me happy(c.f. meeting not so nice bosses in hospital doesn't make me happy) So if those things are awesome, i wanna keep doing them. Playing soccer with my friends is awesome. Travelling to far away places is awesome. Running ultramarathons with my dad is awesome. learning to cook food at home is awesome. Spending time reading God's word is awesome. Spending time reading books on theology and stuff is awesome. a quiet walk in the park with someone is nice. BREAKFAST meepok/kway chap is awesome awesome. So like yeahh i think i'll like a good work life balance. a while back someone said when you consider what you wanna do in medicine, you need to think whether work life balance is important to you. Then, i thought to myself yes i wanna have a family life, but i'm sure i can get around it, even if i was to become a surgeon cos like so many people have done it. i'm sure they spend time with families and relax and stuff. basically i was just brushing off the thought of working a lot a lot a lot in hospital. But increasingly, i'm realising that some doctors really do have to spend a lot a lot a lot of time in the hospital. Like surgeons. And i'm pretty sure that's not what i want.

Some of you can go ahead and call me idealistic or unrealistic or whatever, and while you're at it, why don't you have fun continuing to feel sian with your life and your long work hours and slogging. haha.

So anyway just thinking out loud, what career options does that leave me, having spelt out what i want. My interests are probably only surgery, anaesthesia, GP. So surgery is out. Anaesthesia is pretty nice i think and nice work life balance haha. I don't mind becoming a GP too. Like i'm my own boss so i can take leave regularly to go overseas to do other stuff i want too like mission work or medical support for various events. Then i'll make my clinic really nice. Like carpets on the floor, jazz music, or maybe christian music playing hehheh.

but ok whatever i'm still bonded to the government for 5 years so i'll choose slack postings or sth. haha. but yeahh.. i think i'm getting a bit more idea of what i want. Many people seem unhappy with their working life in singapore. It's always sian la tmr got work.. sian la gotta work till late.. sian la cannot go out to slack. Especially many people who do well in sch/uni get those 'good' jobs. End up being sian for the good years of their 20s and 30s. But u know what i say, screw this rubbish i'm going to do what i like and have fun while i'm at it. I'm getting out of a rat race and doing it my style. Kinda like getting out of a tour group and doing a free and easy road trip. i'm gonna do the things that make me happy, and i'm not gonna sacrifice my good years of 20s and 30s for sth that doesn't make me feel really really happy all the time.

i actually had in mind to write a really smart post that made me sound intellectual and like a deep reflective insightful person, but the way it's turned out it seems too colloquial to sound intelligent alr. But whatever la intelligence is for another day, i'll take funny, cool, nice and relaxed anytime. haha did i just compliment myself. hAha.