Med School

After stumbling upon sth my friend from med sch wrote, i typed out a reply to her, never expecting it to become a long long recollection and reflection on my life in med school..


hey lifeng.. i stumbled unto the thing u wrote about ur thoughts on uni life... and i don't know why, but i felt like i could relate to it... that doesn't make sense cos even though i would like to think i do, i guess i don't really think much about my life.. the purpose, God's will for my life etc.. firstly it's probably cos maybe i'm not much of a philosophical person, like ok i wanna be a doctor cos it's quite cool and you get to help many people out of their misery and i like helping people a lot.. and secondly maybe i don't take life so seriously? i don't know, i hardly get depressed kinda struggling with issues with life etc.. i do get sad and of course very disappointed with people, or sometimes the way things are turning out, but i've never gotten like very depressed, mired in deep thoughts about my life etc. i don't know if that's what you call a happy go lucky guy, but i would like to think i'm not, and that i actually do think about deeper issues in life etc..and lastly, maybe it's cos i think i've the answers to such questions......if someone were to ask me straight up what is my purpose in life, i guess i'd say it would be to glorify God. whether my life reflects that is another thing, but if you ask me, that's what i hope i believe in. because it's easier said than done..

my decision to enter med sch was a strange one. all along i kept telling my dad i didn't wanna be a doctor. i wanna be a soccer player then i wanted to be a muscian, lawyer then i wanted to manage hotels then i wanted to work in economic firms etc.. i went into ARMY having applied to 3 us unis, just for fun, even though my sats weren't good.. it had been a long dream of mine to go USA for the overseas experience, since sec 3. if i didn't remember wrongly, on the 10th of january 2006, i was queueing up for breakfast at the cookhouse in tekong, in the bmt school with the sky still dark, standing there, feeling miserable with my new army life. suddenly, i just thought about people whose lives were miserable, like the sick, the poor, those in poor countries. at that pt, i was thinking if someone were to come and save me from my miserable army life, the immense joy i would feel. how much more these suffering sick, poor people would feel if someone was able to alleviate their suffering from sickness. there and then i thought about being a doctor. of course, the prospect of disruption was there too. can get out of army. it was definitely a bonus, but hopefully not a strong motivation. As the days went by, this feeling to want to do medicine grew. Yes of course i prayed about it, commit it to God.. but u know.. i guess i'm not very mature as a christian yet.. i don't wait upon the Lord.. i don't wait upon Him in His word.. i just have this feeling to wanna do medicine. i pray 'Lord i feel like being a doctor is where You are leading me to, i pray that you will show me if this is the way i should go'. That was bascially that.. no long prayers struggling with the Lord, no deep searches into His Word. it was just a feeling in my heart which grew.

of course God speaks in different ways, through godly people, through circumstances, among many others like His Word and the prompting of the Holy Spirit. My father's strong support for me to do medicine was taken by me as sort of a confirmation that being a doctor, helping people is where God wants to place me.By the time A level results were about to be released, i've already made up my mind that i would do medicine. When the A level results were released, i got 4As and a B4 for GP. i was worried the B4 would hamper my chances, but thank God it didn't. i prepared very hard for the interview etc. and was extremely happy when i knew i got into medicine.

As i think back, it really does seem that God was leading me into doing medicine. my SATS were horrible. my B4 in GP prevented me from thinking about doing Law, which i had considered. my move to air wing in ocs from foxtrot wing (which in itself is a miracle) gave me more time to prepare myself for the interview and essay. It seemed to be God ordained. Therefore i guess i can say God "called" me to medicine.

but how quickly we forget God's grace to us. i'm quite a slacker in terms of studying. things i've said include " there's more to life than studying" , "just need to pass can already", "i don't wanna waste my youth studying all the time".. i definitely believe there's wisdom in those statements, however a balance has to be strucked, and upon reflection, i probably didn't really strike a balance.. i scraped past year 1 by God's grace, and again now in year 2 i'm sort of struggling with my results too.. how quickly i forget God's grace to me in my O levels, A levels, Year 1. the biggest lesson i learnt in year 2, is that many people in medicine know i'm a christian, i spend lots of time in church. and when i fail papers, it doesn't bring glory to God. Col 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. I know that I'm not studying for myself so i can bring glory to my own uselss human intellect, but it's to bring glory to God, so that i can win souls for Him, in every possible way. Therefore i should and will try to study harder..

But again, action always speaks louder than words.. Wow i don't know how this became a long long recollection and reflection.. i guess my point is, you can see that we go through quite different 'struggles' or issues in med school, but i can still relate to what you wrote.. maybe that's because we are both seeking God ( i hope i am) amidst everything happening around us in med sch..

Whatever it is, i hope this encourages you, and spurs you on to continue seeking God and honouring Him in everything.. All the best for the CAs that are coming soon, may we have the right perspective!


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I hope i can share with you all what she wrote, but i'lll wait for her to give me permission..