"I wrote this book because much of our talk doesn't match our lives. We say things like, 'i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,' and 'trust in the Lord with all your heart.' Then we live and plan like we don't believe God even exists. We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises." - Francis Chan

"The end of life is not to be happy nor to achieve pleasure and avoid pain, but to do the will of God, come what may." - MLKjr

"Better to love God and die unknown than to love the world and be a hero; better to be content with poverty than to die a slave to wealth; better to have taken some risks and lost than to have done nothing and succeeded at it; better to have lost some battles than to have retreated from the war; better to have failed when serving God than to have succeeded when serving the devil. What a tragedy to climb the ladder of success , only to discover that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall!" - Erwin Lutzer

I wonder in my current moment of fatigue, stress, busyness, how do i live this out. How on earth do i live this? I dunno how... Should i study less and relax, so called knowing God is in control? should i study less and read the bible more? should i study less and spend more time with God? Should i study more and study very hard and compromise my time with God because passing this exam is God's will for me? Or perhaps it's study hard, and set aside time with God? What is the godly way to go about dealing with an exam so intense and massive as this? Or am i asking the wrong question....

actually maybe i'm asking the wrong question... this is life, it's all of it. Annie Dillard wrote that the way we live out our days is the way we live our lives, MBBS or not. so perhaps, even though this is a busy season, a specific or even special season of my life where it's so intense, i need to live it still as a day lived unto the Lord. I need to trust in His provision, trust in His hand over me, that He is good, that He is in control and He has a purpose for my life. That should translate to a joy inside me, even when stress abounds. It should also translate to a peace in me that surpasses all understanding, anchored in the God of the universe. It should also translate to a meaningful work and effort, to do the best for my exam as this is what God has laid before me at this moment in my life. It is, believe it or not. This is God's will for my life at this pt in time. So do my best unto God. And at the end of the day, life is a journey, we are but pilgrims passing through. What is God saying through all this? What is God teaching me. What is God revealing about Himself to me. I need to reflect on that and be more sensitive to what God is saying and revealing. Perhaps a quiet musing of the spirit's movement as what i read in my bible study material.

But at the end of the day, not just a form of personal therapy, but so that these experiences in my life transform me into christ-likeness for the great commission of making disciples fired by the great commandment to love God with all of what i am...