my exams are finally over..... I actually had so much to say about them but i don't feel like blogging about that now. i just wanna thank God for seeing my through it. halfway while studying for it, i prayed that if i am able to pass and go to year 3, it would really be cos of God's grace. and even though my results are not out yet, i'm just already thankful to God for seeing me through it. my strength comes from Him who makes all things possible.
the last week leading to the exams was just simply the purest form of mugging i've ever done. really eat sleep mug eat sleep mug, no social life, no life, no nothing. I'm just thankful God gave me the strength to go through it. on the last day before my microbiology paper, at like 3am. i was so sleepy i had to stand up and study and walk around the house. then like 3 plus, i found myself drooling on my HIV notes on the table, then after that i decided i had to get a nap. so i woke up at like 550am and continued studying. in the end the paper was ok, do-able i felt. but even if it's not ok and i have to take vivas, i've decided i'll just take whatever comes my way like a man la. no pt worrying about things i can't change now..
Thank you Lord.

is it possible for a guy to have pms? while anyway, today i just really had a damn pms-ing day. i just was so impatient talking with my dad, and my mom, about their wedding anniversary that they organised that i'm supposed to plan. i dunno why i'm so impatient, so like sian about it. my dad kept asking me to perform and i kept saying i didn't wanna perform during the dinner and i was really like sian and impatient. a few years back i prayed for my parents to get back together when they were separated. God answered the prayer, and by His grace, they are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. and here i am being a total prick being so impatient and like lazy and angry and moany about everything. i guess it just really shows you the problem with man. i'm a classic example of Israel after God led them out of of Egypt. lead them out alr still grumble when got little simple things they just needed to obey.

it's just like that. if my dad were to come to me again, it would be very hard for me to be genuinely interested in helping. but i will just choose to obey, and do my best for them la, even though i may be sian about it, which i can't help feeling by the way. cos i really dun wanna perform la but i'm forced into it by my dad. hiazzz. this is crap la i dunno what's wrong with me. i guess this is what i would call a pms day for me. i shall go sleep now and hope i wake up a changed man. anyway thank you joel pang and jeremy for offering to help you all are good friends, contrary to popular belief.

Praise God for His mercies are new every morning.....

something i read in this devotional book at a bookshop.
this guy was standing on top of a tower. looking down. he sees a car chionging on this lane. the driver in the car probably can't see that further in front there's a road block. so he's chionging. but the guy standing on top of the tower can see. and to that guy on the tower. what the guy is doing is actually not very wise, cos he chiong, later everybody also need to stop.

it's kinda like. we are the people in the car. we can't see what's ahead and we sometimes just chiong chiong. and then when we meet the roadblock, in life, or in whatever we're doing. we just feel so sian. but the guy in the tower can actually see that after the roadblock , it's just nice long roads with clear blue skies and a nice drive.

it's like God sees things from the view of the tower. often our view is so myopic, we are the driver. we need to learn to see things from God's point of view.
if i fail my exam and have to take a viva, just take it la. in singapore we are like trained to be zero failure tolerance. but if we get so upset by failure, so shaken, so destroyed, we are really like the driver in the car. cannot see that after the roadblock , it's a long easy clear road. or if the road is long and easy, we cannot see if there's a roadblock in front.

the point is, we need to trust God. He can see us from the tower, he can see the road before us. Don't get so upset by failure, there's the verse in jeremiah right. for i know the plans i have for you, then i forgot the next part. whatever it is. we should just learn to trust God. learn to deal with failure. take it like a man, don't get too too upset. ask God for strength, and deal with it.

andddddd. while i was studying for my exam. there were times i felt so worried, i wouldn't be able to pass, or that i need to take the vivas. then i was thinking if i had to really take the vivas, i would be so sad, and just so overwhelmed. then this thought came to my head. u know how many pple say how hard marriage is, you face so many problems etc.etc.. finances, relationship issues, communication with spouse, children, children's health, children's education bla bla bla. and u know, i really wanna be a good husband next time, a good father. and i was thinking, should a big failure really hit me, i should see it as an experience, to train up myself, to train my capability to deal with tough situations, to be able to take what comes my way, to be joyful, to take the yoke of Jesus. so that, when i'm a father and a husband, and when the various assortment of problems that are certain to come my way, i'll be able to deal with them, not flustered by them, or so upset by them. but to be a man, and handle them. So that i can really be the man of the house, that my wife can rely on, and that my children can look up to.

so should a failure come your way ,or a tough situation arise, take a deep breath, ask God for strength, and tell yourself that getting through this would make you a stronger person, so that ultimately when you become a wife or husband, you'll be able to handle things in your marriage which are bound to be tough as well.

didn't kanye west sing what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. was is kaimin's msn nick once also? haha.

okk anyway i must really say typing all these things out has helped make me feel much better. it's good therapy. i was intending to after blogging this to just jump unto bed and sleep my troubles away. now i feel that i can take up the bible to read before going to bed. Thank God.

ok goodnight